Trying

I´ve never been an artist
I tried it all out
I guess it´s just not working
for me
A messy lifestyle nonetheless
I picked up a guitar
and dropped it
everyone writes the most cruel riffs
I stood in front of the microphone
didn´t find my voice
there are so many great voices
the crux of the shy boy
he should overcome
I took up to painting
but didn´t find my stroke
the world is too full of pictures
always wanted to be a strong man
maybe that´s my weakness
I tried it out with writing
but had no words
the paper stayed empty
there are many who always have the bigger words
and get all the girls fooled
I know
I shouldn´t try
so much and
much to eager
to prove myself
the more I try
the quicker I´ll fail
Still I´m trying
to express what´s not to find
I´m trying
to brush away the gathering clouds
I´m still trying
How can others always do?
There is no envy
but I just got no clue
someone said
that art is solitude
it´s a mighty fortress
with the biggest moat
it´s a ship sailing away
into a storm
without a lifeboat
the more I struggle
to express
the more it all turns
to a stopping time
that runs off
into the dusk